tabula rasa

26/12: 18 '13

distances even further away than the sun

As plenty return from exciting trips to perth/ paris/ hongkong/ whatever buzzing with leftover excitement and “ohmygosh I’m back I missed you so much”, my life seems to be like an enclosed ecosystem (heh like the workshop sophy organised) - strangely undisrupted. What happened to the friendships forged when school was not out yet? I guess they weren’t friendships; they were just acquaintanceships? This may be just a tiny thing in the face of all the immense suffering and gratification (speaking of gratification, I came across this when I was revising for gp) in the universe but I’m a petty, over-sensitive girl so I can’t help but feel this tiny twinge of diappointment right in the middle of my chest.

Okai la I’m a needy kid. :( Guess traits from my insecure younger days are still lingering within me. Whatever, sue me. (hehehe or so will lionel quip)

By the way, I think the way I’m wired is fundamentally ill-fitting for my status as a student because this depressing reflection upon friends and relationships seems be take ultimate precedence over any academic pursuits. Only 2 weeks of holidays left and I’m still stuck in the sinful pool of procrastination. And I can’t bloody swim.